OK, tired, tired, tired.  I am so frustrated with being expected to run YOU! where ever YOU! think YOU! need to go.  I! know I! sound selfish but too bad. I! am on disability and I! do not like it. But I! have had to file and use disability for a reason. After one  car wreck too many (source for another blog posting), I! can no longer stay on my feet for any length of time or sit in any position for too long. My back, neck, and shoulder were damaged and I! am on pain meds and muscle relaxants.  I! also have degenerative disc disease, arthritis, fibromyalgia  and some other disease  that is narrowing the openings in my vertebrae causing pressure on the nerves coming out of those openings. I! am in a considerable amount of pain that fluctuates from day to day depending what I! have done. I! am not available to jump and run just because YOU! thinks I! should hall YOU! somewhere or do what YOU! want. YOU! think MY! time should be used to take YOU! because I! am home and doing nothing and MY! car is sitting there going nowhere.

I! have a right to take care of myself  and owe YOU! nothing! I! have the right to say no, and I! don't care how mad it makes YOU!. MY! day does not revolve around whether I! will hurt YOUR! feelings because I! said no about running YOU! to look for another job. I! didn't cause YOU! to lose YOUR! last job. YOU! chose not to go to work. Again! YOU! Chose to buy and car, not insure it and then drive all over town. YOU! chose to not go get license plates for it. YOU! got pulled over for that. YOU! got the car impounded and taken away and got issued several tickets and had to go to court. YOU! did that more than once. Next to the word stupid in the dictionary, there should be a picture of YOU!. YOU! have to live with the consequences of  YOUR! choices.  I! didn't earn 10 days in jail for YOU!. I! didn't take YOUR! driver's license away from YOU! for 5 years. This very outcome was exactly what I! told YOU! would happen. I! didn't tell YOU! to keep having more children. YOU! chose to keep having them and now THEY! suffer for YOUR! choices. I! did not complicate YOUR! life, YOU! did.

I! am going to take care of myself. I! am not going to let YOU! make ME! feel guilty or bad for MY! choices. I! have worked hard all my adult life. I! have raised my children. And the children I! gave birth to and had control over from day one, are good, decent, hard working adults. I! will not be held hostage by YOUR! poor choices. I! am not the selfish one. YOU! are the selfish one.

YOU! now need to live with the consequences of  YOUR! choices.